Man forgetting difference between meteoroid, meteorite struggles to describe what killed his dog. Published November 14, 2024. Written by The Onion. https://theonion.com/man-forgetting-difference-between-meteoroid-meteorite-struggles-to-describe-what-just-killed-his-dog/
Something crashed down on a poor Pomeranian on Thursday, but who knows what killed it? Toronto local, Jason Nieto, frantically comes up with theories for what killed his dog because "what [is he] supposed to tell the vet when [he] brings the ashes over?" Trying to describe the cause of Churro's (his dog) death, his mind goes to astronomical elements. He struggles to remember the difference between meteorites and meteoroids, based on the evidence from the tragic situation. Nieto's logic is that "one of them kills dogs in space in orbit, and the other kills dogs on Earth. [He] just can't remember which is which." What if it was neither a meteoroid nor meteorite? What if it was an overheated toaster that was cooled down in a bathtub filled with water? What if it was a vase that was chucked by an angry mother at her child but missed? What if it was an Absolut bottle that was flailing around after some middle-aged man was day-drinking? Or what is it was a jar of chocolates, and Churro ate all of them? Nieto was unsure of the cause himself because he had to search on his phone "to see if it mattered that the space rock had exploded when it hit his dog." Honestly, anything could kill a cute, innocent dog out in public nowadays, we'll just never know how exactly.
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